today is scaring me

[mandywith11]

mods if you feel the need to delete go ahead

im really sorry for posting all this crap here but im going insane
i called health visitor yesterday in a state to see what she could find out, anyway her nursery nurse came out who i have seen for years came out to see me and made a few calls
police have informed health visitors and child protection as they are concerned for the kids safety for 2 reasons, 1 hubby had 2 handguns on wall (secure)in holster and there is a samari sword on a high shelf (guns were siezed friday) and the mess the house was in..........dammit i been home alone for a week with 8 kids who do not listen, ive tried my hardest to keep on top of it but with my hidradenitis flaring upits been a painful job
ok my house aint spotless due to the fact theres 12 of us here and not much space for storage of clothes ect so we have lots in bags in downstairs room where my comp is but we cant help it
kitchen has a side piled with pans due to space but that has a gate and kids dont go out there, washing coming out my ears and every dam corner in the house due to not being able to dry it so have not washed anything since fire (tumble dryer destroyed)
i cannot take this im a good mum and im scared i do my best with the kids they have had a cooked meal everyday they have brekkie tea and supper, plenty of drink for them, im expecting cloth airers from argos to be delivered today bt have had no email confirmation so i dont even know if they are coming (god knows where they will go)
my health visitor said the house is upside down at times due to so many kids but they have never once in 16 years had any concerns over them
im just tearing up inside i feel so ill and the shaking in uncontrolable
i feel so alone and scared this has been the worst nightmare ever and i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy
i know the minute shes going to walk in at 1pm today and im gonna break down, i could use someone here but want to be alone if that makes sense, gage refuses to keep clothes on so im now trying to get him to keep them on
kids are kind of helping
anyway better get back to it
ill post later

[sam]

Im sorry all this is happening to you Mandy. At least you have the health visitor on your side, and I am sure once they all meet you they will see how happy your kids are and how well looked afterxxx sending you hugs mandy and let us know how you get onxxxx

[KathyM]

Mandy I'm so sorry everything seems to be going wrong for you at the moment *huge hug*.

I know how difficult it is when you feel people are judging your parenting, but remember they might actually be able to help you. We all know you love your kids, it'll shine through when they come to visit. If they'd had serious concerns about your kids' safety, they would've been in ages ago - this is probably just their way of getting the police's concerns brushed over - they know you.

My eldest son has had several surgeries, and he has to have daily physio on his arm to prevent it locking up. When he was little this physio was incredibly uncomfortable for him, and as a toddler he used to scream the house down when he had it. My then neighbour reported us to social services because they thought we were beating him up. It didn't take much to clear our name but at the time I was petrified that they would believe the neighbour. So you have my full sympathies - BUT this could be an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive and get some support from them (hey you might even get them doing the housework for you!! lol).

We'll be thinking of you today*hug*

[LisaLQ]

Might be worth noting that with 10 kids, 2 handguns are never going to be secure, and a samarai sword too. Nicer things you can put on your wall, make sure you prod your hubby for being so daft

Good luck with the health visitors - like Kathy said it could turn into a positive as they may be able to offer some help. Contrary to popular belief most Social Services departments (if they even get involved) will do everything they can to assure that you can look after your kids, rather than the other way round. I know some multiple mums who have home helps, babysitters and folks to do their shopping for them. If our SS dept were the same, we'd jump at the chance.

Be prepared for them, and turn it round so you're asking the questions "How can you help", etc. Be strong, be assured of yourself as you are here, and show them how good a mum you are, and you wont have any probs, I bet

[sam]

Was going to say, reminded me after reading lisas post, that most SS will do everything in their power as such to keep kids with their parents and they can offer a lot of help. having 2 Sn daughters we have a social worker and the help is great from her. Someone that live snear mum gets help every day with her children, someone takes them out so she can get on with things. Ask what help there is for you if you want it. you will be finexxx

[Tigs]

This is an area i know nothing about. But can send you happy thoughts

;D

[Leah]

I find it very un-nerving that socail services need to be involved with you when your children are clearly loved and well looked after, and then you read in the paper that some nine-year-old has been being given herione by his mum for years. They need to get their proirities sorted. It's clear that the people who report such petty cases don't have a clue what raising children is like. My house looks like a bombs hit it and I've only got the one. However, imagine all the terrible things child protection workers have seen. I think it will be obvious to them that this was an unnessercery visit. Get the help you deserve from them. Good Luck X

[mandywith11]

health visitor will be coming for support

[apple]

I wish you the best!
apple

[mandywith11]

health visitor arrived i broke down, then the other woman arrived who was actually a social worker she asked if i needed and finacial hep i sain no, asked if i wanted a biiger house....yeh right i got one of the biggest 4 beds in area, asked how i punished the kids so i told her normally time out, loss of tv, games ect......think she was hoping id say a good slap, asked if i was cooking for them, i did say i was desperate for tumble dryer so she is looking into that, got some numbers to call today so im gonna be a busy bee, she cant understand why kids ned video statements as i explaind excatly where they was and who was sleeping at the time
now we just wait and see
2 days till court

[Val]

Hope so much that everything works out OK for you, will be thinking of you.

Val (((hugs)))

[Anjie Evans]

Hey Mandy.

I know i'm no longer a member of this forum but I read up occassionally still and I just wanted to say that I will be thinking of you. What a load of shit to be going through!! Stay strong girlie - you ARE strong and you can cope with whatever life throws at you.

Good luck for the court case - not that you need it things will turn out just fine i'm sure. Big hugs and kisses for you and your lovely children X 10 ;D.

If you need to rant at someone my email addy is [e-mail] - any time!!!

Anjie,x.

[gastropodgirl]

Good luck Mandy,I'll be thinking of you and I hope you are feeling better.

[mandywith11]

quickie on the guns
got a call from police today the hand guns are safe there is no way they ca fire anything so we are getting them back
i could have told them that lol
so thats one thing out the way......still a zillion hurdles left to try and jump